We’re always searching for something in this life, whether it is a partner, a house, a job, a path, a career, success, wealth, fame, some mystery… in fact we’re looking for ourselves in the material world, instead of going within.

We sometimes feel like something is missing from our life, we don’t know exactly what, but we feel it in our bones, it’s an excruciating yearning for something unknown… and we start searching.

We try to fill this feeling with noise, with people that distract us from our constant need of filling our void, but we don’t understand that we’re not empty, we’re full and complete. It is our inner self that you want to get acquainted to, and you don’t know how, you don’t even know you have one sometimes.

So the journey begins: if quieting the yearning with people didn’t work out, and it probably didn’t (only temporarily), you try with material things (who said shopping is therapy didn’t try therapy, or is avoiding it), next would be burring yourself in work (you did that, already, didn’t you? They’re still working on building you a statue at work, aren’t they?), well, if work drained you to burn-out you will probably try… drugs, right? I hope you only do recreational ones and regain your focus shortly, because you know, that won’t work out either. You’ll definitely make some people very rich and happy, but not you, bummer, right?

At some point in the story, someone will trigger you in such a way that will redirect you towards yourself. You’ll start by asking questions: Am I not enough? What have I done wrong? What is wrong with me? Am I such a difficult person to be around? Is it me or is it the other person? Well, the first answer that came to mind is : Yooou, dude! You didn’t expect me to hold your hand and tell you, it’s not you it’s the other person, did you? Let me put some light onto this topic and say all the persons that you meet in your life are actually mirrors of yourself and, when you say they are to blame, you’re in fact redirecting that to you in a way that doesn’t hurt your Ego!

Who is this Ego? Let’s call it a fancy “joker” and I say joker as in element of surprise, always having something up his sleeve, something unexpected, and that thinks he is the king of the castle. In some way he can be if you let him run along all the time. I’m not saying that you should, nor advise against it, that’s up to you to discover. I’m merely a guide, but I’m not supposed to intervene in your story. I am allowed to say what might happen when you do allow him to rule your castle… well, imagine arrogance at its best... imagine a dragon that scares a village, imagine uncontrolled power… What is the outcome of that? Chaos, right? I’m depicting him as a bad character, aren’t I? I should add that he is in fact our projection in one way, what we think the world should see us as, in fact we’re building the Ego as a shield around our heart in a way. A glare with unimaginable powers, a strategy that could prove to backfire most of the time. We don’t see it at first, because we like that fuzzy feeling, when other people tickle our Ego, and say nice things about us, and it gives us some sort of not fulfilment, but temporary state of good. We think this is it, I’ve found it, Evrikaaaa! Well, since you asked, I must tell you, ….you definitely found something, but not exactly what you were initially looking for.

There is some road ahead to search… Shall we?

They say you are born again the day you find your life purpose. Today, I found it. In a way I always had known I have this inside me, and in the same time I was doubting myself. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? My life purpose is to write, to transmute the higher vibrations of my soul into notes, and into words. My work has both melody and lyrics. I put in scene a 3D book, that you could see in front of your eyes, and feel it in your cells. You are a character inside it, that lives, feels, and experiences everything first hand with the rest of the characters. The music is the secret passage that brings you to the same wave length of the story, and only then you’re ready to step into the story. Try to skip this step, and you’ll feel like something is missing… like I mentioned before, you don’t know what, but you can tell it’s missing.

I have to tell you about the most amazing experience in my life so far. I had the unique opportunity to meet a special person that brought me an unexpected gift, the answer to a question I had for so long, and not only that, it came with an out of this world feeling of freedom, of liberation, of the world is mine and always has been. What was I doing before this? My heart just expanded, my chest opened, and I am very grateful to the person that hurt me and redirected me to my inward road. I am grateful for the hurt, sounds a bit cheesy, right? Don’t get me wrong, nobody wants to get hurt or learn the hard way. I’m just grateful this situation had a silver lining and it brought me on the road towards my healing. If you’re happy and you enjoy life, you don’t think about healing, and stuff that you hid under the rug, because you were too busy or not prepared to deal with them at the moment. I would have appreciated an easiest road, and now I know there are easier road, or can be, anyway I’m immensely happy it happened even like this.

This was my most long yearning, if I recall correctly, since high school I was wondering what’s my path, my life purpose.

I don’t know about you, but I was taught to be the best in everything, and I’m not saying this in an entitled way. It was the norm back then for every kid, well for every kid with parents with high expectations from them. So, I had to be the best at every subject we were taught in school, which proved to be pretty confusing.

They didn’t give us any test to see what our talent are, and develop them or redirect us towards those paths. No, you had to be a top performer at each of them, not knowing what you’re good at. If you happen to know, or discover yourself that you have a certain talent, an amazing voice for example, that would be an indicator of a possible trajectory you could follow.

I don’t assume that all persons that have a great voice and enjoy singing will become actual singer. It’s a choice at the end of the day. It’s for you to decide whether you want to follow it or not, or discover something else you enjoy.

Until today, when I heard that when you live your life mission, your life becomes magic, and everything realigns, I was thinking… What are you smoking? Please, I want some…. In free translation meaning, I want to see and feel that magic, double dose please.

In our life journey we’re looking to discover ourself, knowingly or unknowingly. We hold the belief that we know everything about ourselves, yet we have so much to unlock. We forgot who we are in our quest of becoming who our parents expect us to be, who our society ask us to be like, leaving last who we want to be.

At a certain young age, we don’t even know what we want, and we let others tell us what they think would suit us. In trying to blend in with our peers, we quietly agree with them or at least give it a try, only to discover at a later stage that this isn’t what we want, and that’s ok. We still have a lot of time to figure out what suits us best, and sometimes we want something and after years we decide we want something else, that’s fine also.

Life is an experience, and we must enjoy it, and in our journey, we discover ourselves. What I want you to understand is that although we know about the duality of things, plus and minus, up and down, good and bad, left or right, positive and negative, Ying and Yang, each thing has both of them in different proportions, and this is ok.

We’re not supposed to judge how things are, more to accept them as they are and do our best with what we have. Easier said than done, right? Been there, done that? What can I say?

You have 3 options:

1. Change what you can,

2. Accept what you can’t change, or

3. Don’t accept, and move on to another experience. It comes easier with time.

Give it a try. The difficult part is when you mix the 3 of them to find another solution, like stubbornly trying to change something that you can’t, but you keep trying, or not accepting a certain thing or situation and staying there with a false hope that something will miraculously change. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in miracles, but they sometime take time, and you don’t want to continue living in a situation that doesn’t bring you joy or happiness or makes you grow.

With the wisdom of today I would most probably advise my young self to gather experiences, to go into the world with confidence and an open mind to discover what are the things, places, experiences or people that makes their soul tick, as in vibrating higher than usual, the amazed expression on the face, the eyes wide open, the big smile on your lips, the warm and fuzzy feeling of joy, love and freedom in your heart.

With love,

NK